Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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