Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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