What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize