Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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