all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
