Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize