you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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