Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
