hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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