she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize