In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
