He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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