I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
