This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
