Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
