I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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