i barfeds in our rink
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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