i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
