Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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