Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize