Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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