Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
