You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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