Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
