There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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