Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize