This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
