Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
