i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
