the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
