I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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