i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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