I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
