your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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