Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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