Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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