Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
