Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
