butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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