I saw his package. It spoke to me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
