Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
