She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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