He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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