She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize