oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
