I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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