Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
