spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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