Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
and she was petting her beer can
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize