After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
