Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
