no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
