is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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