this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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