Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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