found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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