i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
