i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
