I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
