HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
