You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
