OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
