So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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